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I'm Dead Again

from Cicada Cicatrice by Deeps Repus

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lyrics

A purring little cat came up and licked my arm
With a tongue that's still filthy with the blood of mice
Now I wish I could pretend that I've got better judgment
But the innocent spiel would probably trick me twice
If the creature was a human acting cute and harmless
I won't be so easily coerced; at least, I hope
If it means that I'm a sheep to be manipulated
Then I hate this quasi-hypnotic attraction trope
The shortest path between two points the way I know it
Is whichever one can keep you adequately hid
Cause emotion is the devil's best catch-22
And sympathy will make you forget everything they did
The illusion of the planet being worth a damn
Has been implanted in the population's feeble minds
But all the people who can claim that they don't care the most
All secretly regret the time they left it all behind

I'm dead again

A fleeting thought of happiness just crossed my head
But after twenty-seven seconds it just flew away
And when I tried to call it back to me, it flipped me off
I mean, it's basically the same as every other day
But maybe there's a secret cheat to keep it in my heart
And I suppose the pills I'm taking sort of help a bit
The anhedonia is gone, I guess that's something
But it can't stop me from crying when my friends feel shit
I can't remember for the life of me the last time
When I genuinely felt a pang of honest rage
That's a good thing, but I don't like how my attitude
Is like a truly jaded person over twice my age
My trust has been eroded without my permission
And I tend to ask myself if I'd be my own friend
Or if my lyrics are profound or just a crock of nonsense
That I scrawl to bring the music to a proper end

credits

from Cicada Cicatrice, released May 3, 2018

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Deeps Repus North Tonawanda, New York

A series of paeans to failure and mediocrity composed by a sad tapir. Contains gluten, soy, and phenylalanine.

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