1. |
Oxytocin
03:45
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I'm your favorite murderbaby
Chop me up and toss me in the sink
Newton's Third Law starts a fire
Cause god knows no one has the time to think
It's all been wasted since you got wasted
With friends like this, well, who needs to breathe?
Here's my wrists, my neck, my ankles
Cause Baby Junior's gotta teethe
My bones are hardened
My skin is tender
You've been a godsend
Return to sender
Oxytocin and serotonin
Make my body feel at ease
Oxytocin and serotonin
Doctor, if you please
Oxytocin and serotonin
Like a suture for the brain
Oxytocin and serotonin
I hope it heals the pain
I share this house with starved mosquitoes
I feel anemic and my muscles ache
Another one walks through the doorway
Not you again, I think I'm gonna break
Show to me your sanctimony
I'll show you somewhere safe that you can stuff
I'm fitting myself for a chastity belt
Cause it's clear to see that I've been fucked enough
With this contusion
I can't take action
Towards the illusion
Of satisfaction
Oxytocin and serotonin
I hope it's not in vain
Oxytocin and serotonin
Til I forget my name
Oxytocin and serotonin
Pretending that I'm sane
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2. |
Idle Hands
07:04
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As a parting gift I gave you new tattoos
That read "not safe for internal use"
There's a growing rift between the true believers
And the overworked and the underachievers
No such thing as a curse that can't be dispersed
With a good old-fashioned chipper machine
I keep people's secrets written safe across my forehead
In bright red ink just so I don't forget
This one's for the churches that litter the land
That baptise with benzene and evangelize with sand
There's a blanket of shadow that threatens the country
That can't be dispelled except by a queen
I'm of the school of thought that love can part the ocean
Given 15 minutes tops and some condoms and lotion
But this class of elites worshipped by a plurality
Claims that words aren't what they mean
There's some bile in my throat that's starting to burn
It's for christening the pretentious and anointing the stern
Anybody who denies all the carnage around us
Doesn't know what I've heard, what I've seen
It's a long way up to the gates of heaven
But they've been shot up, film at 11
You can't have sex with the body electric
But everyone nearby's already gone septic
"There are some things that deserve a bit of arson"
Scream the words on loop inside of my head
It takes someone special with the same amount of luck
To become a world leader or be killed by a truck
You might think this feeling means your heart's been stolen
But it's just something rotten inside your colon
I'm looking for catharsis in this toxic coal mine
But I always find sorrow instead
Lack of critical thinking doesn't always mean dumb
It could also be banality has rendered you numb
I now pronounce the couple husband and wife
And preemptively clinically dead
A bunch of disconnected, unrelated imagery
Is the only thing you'll ever end up getting from me
The color-blind are right in the grand scheme of things
There's no difference between green and red
Autonomy's a concept that I've never experienced
A word I've only heard in myths and legends and rumors
I hatched out of a clutch that was laid by a spider
My motor skills are held back by societal tumors
Our destiny is set to be all pawns for the plutocracy
Our only weight as people is our role as consumers
Unless we learn to loosen our chains
I wish I could ignore it but I'm forced to acknowledge
That we're bogged down in this quicksand by imbalance of power
And that if we want affection from the marionetteers
We have to dance for our dinner over 63 hours
And we can't refuse the offer because beggars can't be choosers
Even though the taste of leather boots is bitter and sour
We can't endure our hunger pains
So I'll staple a comedy mask to my face
Until my personality's been erased
And in bed I'll cry for hours cause I know I'm a disgrace
But hey, it's a living
Is this really living?
In dreams I see a future where there's something called "freedom"
And the people aren't subject to the whims of the moguls
Whips and jails and scoliosis don't exist but in memories
There's no such things as barons or oppression or nobles
The sun is shining brightly on a land of all the liberated
Bodies clean of all the gunk that kept us immobile
And none of the evil remains
I don't think that I'd call it regression
It's more a spot of chronic depression
Nothing's wrong with your eyes, but you still can't see
It's nothing that should go without mention
A parasite that eats comprehension
Victims aren't offenders, Q.E.D
Jesus wanted me to die
Otherwise he'd never let me live in the first place
Jesus wanted me to die
That's the only reason I was born
Jesus wanted me to die
Why else would I even be alive in the first place
Jesus wanted me to die
Cause I deserve his ire and his scorn
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3. |
8月の火曜日
04:09
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起きたら朝の青空が綺麗
電話が鳴ってる、「遊びに来い」って
親友の声が聞こえてくるね
着替えの後は階段を降りる
親に挨拶を、朝飯食べる
扉を通して君んちへ行く
でもなんか胸の鼓動が止まらない
思い浮かんだらいつもより速い
手伝ってくれよ、何故なの知りたい
その顔と笑い方が僕によく効く
君のこと考えすぎて夜は眠れず
他のみんなも友のことをこう思ってるかな
問いたいが倒さないよ、心の怖さ
ようやく着いた、扉にノックを
開けたら君が声掛け「ようこそ」
落ち着いてみて緊張感を隠そう
いつものように抱きしめられた
君が温かい、やっぱ無理でした
死ぬ気がするよ、君を離せば
日の残りの記憶が薄い
布団に入ったら君の「おやすみ」
執着しちゃったよ、その一言に
今日を外泊にする招待の返事はもちろん「はい」
やっぱりこの謎の気持ちどうか解決したい
でも君が側にいると胸が苦しく
深い思考が不可能のまま僕はただ泣く
真夜中でどうやら僕を聞こえた君が
肩に手を伏せて、「悪い夢でも見たか」
悲しいけど君の慰めでは幸せ
こんな気持ち大きくなったら分かりそうかもね
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4. |
Jungle
03:10
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(地獄出て来る、狂う)
Blot out the sky with your insolence
And your insubordination
Everyone pities your ignorance
You think you can thwart the nation
Swallow your pride 'fore you choke on it
And you vomit in a flood rush
Bilious humours aren't humorous
When you're staring down a blood crush
Could this be a gift from heaven
Or a burden, rotten, dead and
地獄出て来る、狂う?
Children are placid and genial
They don't take after their parents
Egotists, unpaid professionals
Execration clogs the pharynx
Citizens gather around the flames
For a public execution
Jumping in happily all the same
It's their personal solution
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5. |
Venlafaxine: A Love Song
10:22
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They say evil triumphs when good men do nothing
But when good men do something they get killed or they get fired
I'd love to be able to pick up the pieces
But the long and the short of it is I'm far too tired
You caught me at the absolute worst possible time
But honestly any time's bad for me now
I laugh without thinking to stop myself from crying
And if there's a better way, please tell me how
I can't be seen without venlafaxine
Cause it's the only thing that brings me to lucidity
I can't be seen without venlafaxine
Cause it's the only friend I've got and it's the only friend I need
I feel like a nobleman buried alive
But without a bell rigged up outside of my casket
As much as I want death, I fear I'm immortal
Cause my whole life long I've been in hell in a handbasket
There's no real solution to all of my problems
And try as I might nothing quite feels the same
I'd like to go back to when ignorance was bliss
As a nondescript child who never knew pain
Save me, make me
Not so crazy
My soul's not meant
To be aching
Both my heart and
Mind are breaking
When you leave I
Beg you, take me
It would be fun to try and see how close I can get to losing my life
Without losing my body, without losing my mind
They say suicide is a cowardly thing, but what about about the ones who back out
Without kissing the concrete, without kissing the clouds?
Everyone talks about finding true love but nobody really knows
Without shedding some tears, without shedding some clothes
Emotional baggage is a horrible thing but it's impossible to just let go
Without letting it fester, without letting it grow
Can someone destroy this pedestal I was born on
Cause everyone's standards have been far too high
And when I fuck up like I always anticipate
No one ever sees with me eye to eye
I can't handle pressure, I can't handle shouting
I can't handle anything, is that my fault?
You can't really blame me for wanting to end this
And jump off the world with a soul-stopping halt
I'm not fond of people and animals are scared of me
So what does that leave me with when I need to talk?
When nobody listens and nobody notices
And nobody cares, I just feel like a cock
The cold chill of winter bites down on my jugular
And I can see nothing but my own rotten breath
Should I just point my face toward the sky one of these days
Close my eyes tight, and let the hail stone me to death?
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6. |
A Lonely Wraith's Lament
03:52
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Sometimes I wish that I was smart enough
To be not born a human and not evolve thumbs
But I guess I lack the foresight for that
Or perhaps I'm just plain dumb
The days blur together, there's not enough air
And I'm grasping for something that just isn't there
But I guess I lack the eyesight for that
Though this blindness isn't fair
Can you hear me?
Can you help me?
I've been searching for a cure to this disease
But I can't seem to find it
I hope you don't mind it
The words that I sing I never understand
They were writ by an angel, but I'm just a man
But I guess I lack the insight for that
It's another thing I can't
Maybe this body's a poor surrogate
And my soul's somewhere else, but just where, I forget
But I guess I lack the hindsight for that
Cause there's nothing I regret
Are you hiding?
Are you crying?
I've been searching for an exit to this place
But I can't seem to find one
Maybe your mind's one
Your bones fit
Rather perfect
I've been searching for a host that I can take
And I know that I've found it
Your body's resounded
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7. |
Supernova (2016)
06:24
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I'm nostalgic for a time and place that I have never been
Where I could be outgoing and could make a bunch of friends
Or maybe something more than that, but I can still pretend
Oh, if only life were like that
There's certain things you just can't change and sometimes that's okay
Cause most of them are little and won't matter anyway
But I'd give my arms and legs if you would never go away
Oh, if only death were like that
But in layman's terms, no man can be a god
And you can't control the world with just your thoughts
I can't see the moon tonight, and I never knew that rain could smell so rancid
But at least I know it's real
If she wants to become a supernova
Then just let her become a supernova
I don't want to become a supernova
But I can't speak for anyone else
I don't want to rely on anybody from now on
I've needed to be kept afloat by others for so long
I want to be so stable, no one thinks that something's wrong
Oh, if only life were like that
I wish that I could sleep for months and not just for a night
And fall into a coma as opposed to fight or flight
And then I'd wake up later when I think that it's alright
Oh, if only death were like that
But it's never gonna be so cut and dry
And the man who called this easy told a lie
I'm confused by everything, but the world outside has gracefully adapted
And I don't know how to feel
There's no user's guide to being an adult
And the walkthrough for delight says "join a cult"
Everything I've done has failed, and the best advice I've heard is "just keep trying"
But I can't see the appeal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I know you're not quite ready yet
And I know just how afraid you get
But I'm certain it's a solid bet
That you're the strongest boy I've ever met
It's not that simple, I'm aware
But don't you worry, I'll be there
I don't quite love myself, it's true
But that love's better spent on you
Because you never get enough
Despite the fact you've had it rough
So here's a little mantra for your health:
"Learn to forgive yourself"
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8. |
I'm Dead Again
03:28
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A purring little cat came up and licked my arm
With a tongue that's still filthy with the blood of mice
Now I wish I could pretend that I've got better judgment
But the innocent spiel would probably trick me twice
If the creature was a human acting cute and harmless
I won't be so easily coerced; at least, I hope
If it means that I'm a sheep to be manipulated
Then I hate this quasi-hypnotic attraction trope
The shortest path between two points the way I know it
Is whichever one can keep you adequately hid
Cause emotion is the devil's best catch-22
And sympathy will make you forget everything they did
The illusion of the planet being worth a damn
Has been implanted in the population's feeble minds
But all the people who can claim that they don't care the most
All secretly regret the time they left it all behind
I'm dead again
A fleeting thought of happiness just crossed my head
But after twenty-seven seconds it just flew away
And when I tried to call it back to me, it flipped me off
I mean, it's basically the same as every other day
But maybe there's a secret cheat to keep it in my heart
And I suppose the pills I'm taking sort of help a bit
The anhedonia is gone, I guess that's something
But it can't stop me from crying when my friends feel shit
I can't remember for the life of me the last time
When I genuinely felt a pang of honest rage
That's a good thing, but I don't like how my attitude
Is like a truly jaded person over twice my age
My trust has been eroded without my permission
And I tend to ask myself if I'd be my own friend
Or if my lyrics are profound or just a crock of nonsense
That I scrawl to bring the music to a proper end
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9. |
||||
I saw you on the bullet train
That went from Portugal to Spain
(The conductor was tired, so they didn't see
That your passport expired back in Germany)
You read the newspaper alone
Until a ring came to your phone
(You dashed out of the car at full speed
I've got no idea what you needed to do
No, not a clue)
Riddle me this, where'd you come from?
Riddle me this, where ya going to?
Riddle me this, what's your problem?
Riddle me this, can I sit by you?
We're perfect strangers, but it's strangely perfect
And I feel I'm safer, and I feel it's worth it
Riddle me this, are you glad now?
Riddle me this, was it my mistake?
Riddle me this, is it sad how
You crack and you hitch every move you make?
Well, we're only human, and it's human nature
You can call me stupid, but I'll never hate you
When you came back, I was surprised
I could not believe my own eyes
(Well, you must understand it would cause alarm
How you carried a child's prosthetic arm)
You had it draped along your shoulder
Blade, I saw into your soul
(I was shown how much strength you had there
I'm too feeble, too unprepared for the blues
That fill your shoes)
I knew right there I needed you
I idolized you in my view
(Cause your beauty was blinding, I couldn't see
Any future that didn't have you with me)
I don't want to sound like a creep
But here's a memory to keep
(So I mustered my courage to do good
I got up and tore my hood from my head
And then I said, "riddle...")
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10. |
Vivisection in B
05:52
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With a running start jump into the reservoir
Cannonball cannibal don't let go
Start stroking and paddling and paddling and kicking
And kicking and screaming and screaming and sinking
Piecemeal pisces food upon their plate
So they mate and they grow and the crater runneth over
Fisherkings in yellow snatch and sell and even skin some
Singing songs of sixpence cause five's their yearly income
Visceral little tadpoles have nothing to hide
Which makes it easier to tell when their hearts are petrified
They tried and they tried but we all know they lied
When the whole world can see what you're like inside
But I'm tied up in affairs replete with remorse
No escape, no reprieve, I can't muster enough force
He married me, buried me, exhumed for the divorce
Of course (dehsiw eb ot yltuoved noitammusnoc a sit')
"melt thtis shit earth. melt this shit earth and start over."
The guilt of existence is eating me alive
And that's the only thing that tells me that alive is what I am
Suffering and terror are the only true emotions
Idealism, nihilism, both are nothing but a sham
We're kings, we're gods, hell, why not both
Just a ravenous, savage pack of wolves
Humanity's a failed experiment down to the name
Cause our fundamental quality is being inhumane
Glue the empire back together with a Glasgow grin
Putrefaction is a virtue, conscientiousness a sin
Fracturing your arm to drink the marrow from the bone
Dying's fun with friends but even better when alone
High-fidelity infidel, push the button, ring the bell
Gaping like the wounds upon your chest
Flip the switch and fall into the furnace of despair
That's where you'll melt into a slurry with the rest
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11. |
Eunuchorn
03:30
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When I first met him he spit his flames inside of me
It warmed me up and I thought that it was love
And our embrace was such that we shared our body water
His scissor fingers made me scream to skies above
So then I told him I would give him anything he wanted
And anything is precisely what he took
And when I see myself in the mirror staring at me
I smash it all apart cause I can't bear to look
I never chose for this to happen
If I could go back and do it all again
I would have just kept walking and ignored it
I never would have offered him my hand
Cause after him no one will ever want me
And that's the biggest tie he's kept me in
And when I look down at the scars he's given me
That's when I remember his sadistic grin when he said
"Relax, it'll only take a second
Just close your eyes and it'll be done soon
And when you open them you'll be a different person
You'll be all mine when you're born anew"
And after that he only spit his flames upon my skin
It left these burns upon my epidermal flesh
And all the while he told me I was his perfection
While he was scratching me with his beehive caress
There's no way I could return to what my life had been
And when his lance decides to make me sore
I have to lie and say that I can feel a happiness
But I can't feel a thing anymore
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12. |
Hedge Funds and Hegemons
04:30
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Come on everybody, clap your hands
And let's pretend we comprehend the concept of romance
And act like we don't live from day to day on government grants
While we bombard the ones who have no choice with logorrheic rants
Would you rather be a bleeding heart or have a stroke
And light the fire that makes your children's dreams go up in smoke?
It makes me wonder why I even bothered when I spoke
When false equivalence has bastard children with tu quoque
When you go to clean the skeletons out from your closet
You should wave hello to yourself
"Going Galt" and snorting salt are just as bad for your health
Old plague doctors wore their masks to keep from catching illness
Not when they're already diseased
Patient Zero's not the hero, he should be quarantined
Come on everybody, crap your pants
What's more bourgeois than looking down and spitting on the ants
Who built the colony, but never even had a chance?
I mean, it's their fault that they can't afford extravagance
But when you hear about their plights and you don't care at all
It makes their names all blur together and gestaltzerfall
But when the serfs learn how to read, you get uncomfortable
So you get up and burn some copies of Das Kapital
I'll give you bread and circuses if you'll blindly agree
To not protest at the gallows' feet, that's magn-animosity
"Please, mister butcher, put that knife on the rack again
All I asked is if this was halal beef"
"This necklace and matching bracelet are luxurious
They were made out of hibakusha teeth"
The color of royalty used to be purple
But nowadays it's been changed to green
"Veracity's irrelevant if we repeat it enough
Cause all dissenters are censorious and mean"
"Look at all the proles who shove their throats full of McDonald's
Like that shit's all they can afford
Stop the cameras, I know it's cancerous, but it's shit I adore"
Says the oligarch to five hundred media watchdogs
Before shouting slurs about Jews
In the foyer -- "Where's my lawyer!? This can't be on the news"
Come on everybody, drown the witch
I mean, she's obviously evil, you saw her twitch
When someone half a foot a way screamed that she's a bitch
And she commits the cardinal sin of not being rich
This bacchanal's not over until someone dies
And then we feast upon their flesh, save for me the eyes
And use their bones for soup and bake their heart into a pie
Cause what you call "excess" is something I call "足りない"
I'll give you guns and butter if you'll voluntarily
Let me siphon out all your mortal souls, that's necrophil-anthropy
Fuck
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13. |
Crowdpleaser
03:25
|
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I bet you wanna hear me sing about cars
I bet you wanna hear me sing about tits
I bet you wanna hear me lower my standards
I bet you wanna hear me not give a shit
Well, I hear what you're thinking, clear and true
I'm not here for me, I'm just for you
Well, I've got just the thing you wanna hear, honey
So take out your wallet and give me your money
This is your crowdpleaser
Your cochlear teaser
Something that won't make you think
So you can sit back and drink
Innovation is for hipsters and snobs
So here's the single you've been begging me for
Just another cock rock radio song
Since you treat me like a musical whore
I've got the shit to start the party off right
Sanitized and inoffensive and white
This is one for all the midlife crisis folks here
A perfect mask so you don't find out I'm queer
Everybody say "I have no self-awareness
And my sense of humor's crass
The eighties are dead now
So you can kiss my ass
I'll never play this live
Cause it's essentially filler
But if you're in your fifties
I bet you think it's killer"
(I'm trying my hardest not to try at all
Cause to sell any records, you gotta sell out
Pushing you for trifling and ultimately stifling creatives
Is what this whole biz is about)
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14. |
||||
I might, I might not be too strong, and I
I might slip up and do it wrong, and I
I might regret I wrote this song, but I
But I will protect you
You might feel that it's way too much, and you
You might think you don't deserve such, but I
I hope that one day you'll be touched, so I
So I will protect you
I don't make promises that I intend to break
I'll be your novocaine when living starts to ache
I won't forget my oath, no matter what it takes
And that means that I won't neglect you
You know how much you mean to me, I shall
I shall make this my destiny, and it's
And it's so plain and clear to see that I
That I will protect you
Peut-être je serai pas assez fort
Peut-être tu penserai que j'ai tort
Mais vraiment, je veux juste ouvrir la porte
Je te protégerai
Je te promets que je te ferai rire
J'écouterai tout que tu voudrai dire
Pourquoi voudrais-je jamais te mentir?
Je te protégerai
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Deeps Repus North Tonawanda, New York
A series of paeans to failure and mediocrity composed by a sad tapir. Contains gluten, soy, and phenylalanine.
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